Reject Rejection

The phenomenon of rejection usually leads to behavioral difficulties to both the rejecter and the rejected. I found the following synonyms of the word rejection; refusal, non-acceptance, declining, turning down, no, dismissal, spurning, and rebuff. Many of us have gone through some of the above experience if not all. Rejection has this lingering effect that sometimes those rejected even believe it leaves an odour on them because when you are rejected once it seems it then becomes a trend to the extent that you either believe they can smell you coming into the room, and some Swazis will claim you have been bewitched and you need a cleansing for good luck.

The one thing I have discovered is that no matter how good you are in something, the moment you are rejected you become reluctant to keep trying because you fear being rejected again. Others fear to attempt doing things, the moment they garner the strength to do and they get rejected, then it dents their lives and that turn down creates a wound that leads to them concluding never to attempt.

An example, of a couple I spoke to recently, the wife had never made the first move in bed even when she wanted intimacy. The one day she attempted to, the husband rejected her with such hostility that she never did it again. Thank God they are sorted now. 

In my line of work, I meet boys and girls that were rejected by their fathers and mothers and listening to their stories one cannot help but get upset at those who rejected them especially with regards to how it affects their esteem. Their self-concept and confidence are not there, simply because they are always inundated with feelings of worthlessness and rejection. Affirmation that comes from a parent, whether a father or a mother has such an effect on children. The same effect comes from being affirmed by the person that you love, it rejuvenates your spirit and makes one excel and become the best that one can be.

As people, we never know the impact that comes with turning down, refusals, and non-acceptance. It’s not only the words we say, but it is the actions. Actions do speak louder than words, some times it’s what you didn’t do that exhibits rejection. It can also be the lack of feedback and or communication.  In scripture, we find that Jesus was also rejected and how he arose above the rejected makes me wonder. My encouragement is you can beat all odds and defy the confinement that comes with rejection. You can beat the depression that comes from feelings of worthlessness.

You are wondering, how was Jesus rejected? How can God be rejected you are asking? Remember that we see in the scriptures that Jesus was 100% God and 100% man as he walked the earth. Here are following references.

Jesus Rejected

Scripture says that Jesus is not a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness (Hebrews 4:15), but does it really say anything about this kind of weakness, the pain of rejection? Sympathizing is one thing, but does Jesus know this kind of hurt?

The answer is yes. The gospel does cover rejection. Jesus did experience it…quite a bit of it, actually. That’s the beauty of the dual nature of our Savior. Being fully God, he chose to be brought low into the humanness of suffering. So every facet of Christ’s life on earth was touched by rejection.

Let’s look at a few of these facets and how they point us to the gospel.

Jesus faced rejection from family members.

Scripture tells us that “not even his brothers believed in him” (John 7:5). Jesus’ own family rejected him as the Messiah. In his life among us, Jesus was a son, a brother, maybe even an uncle. He had human relationships that tore him up when love wasn’t returned, wasn’t wanted, wasn’t accepted.

Jesus faced rejection from his community.

When Jesus returned to his hometown of Nazareth, neighbors that he grew up with and family friends “took offense at him” (Matthew 13:57). He said he was “without honor” in his hometown. Scripture even says that Jesus “did not do many mighty works there because of their unbelief” (v. 58). He knows what it’s like to lose the love and support of a community, to feel unwelcome in a place that was once home.

Jesus faced rejection from people who once claimed to love him.

Christ, in his God-ness, predicted both Judas’ betrayal and Peter’s denial. He saw it coming. But his humanness still experienced the hurt. Jesus was “troubled in his spirit” as he foretold of Judas (John 13:21). Think about it. He had just washed the guy’s feet a few verses earlier, symbolizing the laying down of his very life for him. Peter, who professed his love and commitment to Jesus more ardently than any other, would reject even an association with him in a matter of hours. Sudden, total, heartbreaking rejection…yes, Jesus felt that.

Found this on the blog Unlocking the Bible:  I totally agree with Pastor Colin Smith

I am convinced that we can beat it by rejecting rejection. We need to teach our children even in the church to reject rejection, there is more to life than being trapped in the jail of rejection. I pray daily that rejection doesn’t make me a slave, I fight to be an individual that learns from experiences of rejection.

IDENTITY: The fact of being who or what a person or thing is…

We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love. There’s nothing wrong with who you are because God made you perfect, you are beautiful in your own way be “cause” God made no mistake when creating you, so don’t live your life in regret (s).

Basically, this is about your body image. Both male and female can relate to it. Identity is about things that certain man and women go through on a daily basis in order to feel loved or in order to love themselves. I think that such a thing goes on in today’s world. These weird things (feelings) are instilled in us, they tell us we are not good enough or there’s only one kind of beauty:

A garden can only be beautiful with all types of flowers. Can you imagine if the world only had roses, tulips, ferns, daisies, etc. this is just a way of ensuring that we realize that every single species in the universe has a purpose, likewise you also have a purpose. Sometimes I am really terrible about myself; I compare myself to other people, no matter how many times I read/hear about how good, valuable and lovable I am. Others look for evidence that they aren’t good enough and don’t deserve to be loved or that they are not living up to their full potential.

There is generally a lot of pressure to stack up in our own culture. We feel as if there is something wrong with us. We are still single by a certain age, don’t make a certain amount of income, don’t have a large social circle etc. The list could go on forever. Sometimes in the midst of all pressures, I seem to totally forget all the wonderful unique things about myself. I get stuck in my head and allow my inner critic to completely tear apart my self-esteem until I hate myself too much to do anything except listening to music and sleep.

Genesis 1:26-27 reveals that God said, “Let us make man in our own image and likeness…” so you are special.

Things I try to remember when I’m self-tempted to be mean to myself:

  • People you compare yourself to, compare themselves to other people, so remember that no one is perfect.
  • Your mind can be a very convincing liar.
  • You need love the most when you think you deserve it the least.
  • There is more right with you than wrong with you.
  • You have to be at peace and accept the now before you can reach satisfaction with the future.
  • Focus on progress rather than perfection.
  • You can’t hate your way into loving yourself.
  • Telling yourself what a failure you are won’t make you any more successful.
  • The only way to achieve self-love is to love yourself regardless of who you are and where you stand and even if you won’t change.

By Mbonisi Hlophe – Speaking on Identity – Mbonisi is the leader of our primary & high school going youth at Lets Go To Glory Worship Centre in Swaziland. He gave us permission to publish this piece on the Platform.